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As long as Coach had one of Johnny Fast's Algebra classes, he'll be fine!

Thanks to my Aunt Jill for this one!

B-day Pics

Domo arigato Mr. Jeff Yoder

Dad and I performing on stage

John and Greenie

The B-day boy himself

Back to my CYO days!

Need I say anything?

Just To Get It Off My Chest

Anyone recognize this son-of-a-bitch? He's the proud owner of my soul. It's a tough pill to swallow, but yes, I sold my soul to the devil for championship glory.

It was around mid-September 2007. The Mets were comfortably resting in first in the NL East by 7 1/2 games and I was gearing up for the upcoming NBA season. Late one evening I proclaimed "I'd give my soul for one of my teams to win it all this year". This red creature comes from out of nowhere and made a simple deal. He would give one of my teams a ring and all the others would suffer humiliating defeats.

Now you have to understand, desperate situations call for desperate measures. Only I had no idea what was in store for me.

Fast forward to November 2, 2007. The Mets had blown their lead in historical fashion, losing a 7 1/2 game lead with 17 to play. My very young Fightin' Irish were getting their dicks kicked in week after week. This date is significant because it was opening night for the Celtics (and my birthday, by the way). I sat at B-Dubs with Dad watching as the Celts were putting an absolute clinic on the hated Detroit Pistons. I knew, deep down, that something was up but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Fast forward to January, 2008. With the Irish going to the Toilet Bowl and the Celtics on cruise control the devil found it's next victim, the Cowboys. After a 12-4 regular season the hopes were bright for the playoffs. Then the devil struck again with a loss to the Giants. Fast forward to June 17, 2008. Glory, sweet glory, the Celtics handed the Lakers a 39-point pounding in Game 6 to claim Banner #17.

Coincidence? I think not. Now I know how Jim Tressel feels. He told me he did the same thing in 2002.

RB3

Tribute to Granny

If you don't already know, my grandmother passed away last night. I would like to take a little time to honor her and remember all of the wonderful times we had together. Whether it was our trips to the lake, going to movies, doing yard work or playing Monopoly I will forever remember each and every one of them. Granny, as I called her, was a true friend and always told you the truth, whether you liked it or not.

One of my most fond memories was the time she took me to see Wayne's World. That was when I learned the art of sneaking your own snacks into movies. We stopped at the candy store and loaded up on gummie worms and bears and she made sure to bring 2 cans of Diet Pepsi!

Granny's first mistake was teaching me Monopoly. Her second mistake was allowing me to be the banker. While loading myself up with $500's I would, quite simply, beat her into submission. Once I got older, I stopped cheating. However, she would always accuse me of it. A couple months ago we played for the last time. Jill and Kathi joined us. Needless to say all three of them were taken out in a short time, no cheating involved.

Feel free to chime in with any comments or stories of your own.

RB3

Aye Captain!

Sorry about leaving my loyal readers hanging, but my month-long celebration of the Celtics' 17th championship is over and I am ready to get back to the blogging. The above picture is me at the helm of my newest acquisition, my boat. The hat that I am wearing was a present sent to me by my dear friend, William Drayton. Better known as Flava Flav.

Band Gets First Sponsor

Motley Spew signed a deal today to make Old Stlye the offical beer of the band. "This is an historic day" commented Motley Spew front man Rob Bailey. As a part of the deal, the band agrees to only drink Old Style during practices and concerts. Bailey inked the deal today at Cap-N-Cork's Coldwater Road location.

Motley Spew Rocks The House

Ladies and gentlemen......meet Motley Spew. A new band rocking the house at a dive bar near you. This is a photo of the bands' most recent practice. Motley Spew consists of Rob Bailey on vocals, Curtis Metz on lead guitar, Bodine on bass and Mitch Karacson on the drums. Check back to Tales From the Wood for further updates and touring information.

Curtis Metz Named In Mitchell Report

After TFW reviewed the 400-plus page Mitchell Report we found a familiar name that was mentioned. Jose Canseco threw Curtis under the bus when questioned by former U.S. Senator George Mitchell. During Canseco's deposition, he reported injecting Curtis with HGH several times in 1997 and 1998.

This photo was shot as Curtis and Jose were partying in New Orleans before the BCS National Championship.

Bears Ink Kees For 1-Year Deal

Chris Mortensen of ESPN is reporting that the Chicago Bears have signed Hicksville resident Lindsey Kees to play Quarterback next season. We are being told that the negotiations were very grueling, as Kees' agent, Scott Boras, wouldn't settle for less than a $6.00 signing bonus. Here, Kees proudly sports the #34 jersey that he will wear, which was another issue in negotiations. The Bears had to agree to let him wear the #34 once worn by NFL legend Walter Payton. Kees' representatives did not return our call for a comment.